Quarehawk

“Ladies and Gentlemen, would you welcome please your clown for this evening … Andrew Maxwell !!!!”

And our clown for this evening in no rush. He totters out like a little puppet, with a hilarious grin on his face. Here is a man in a very good mood, and he spends a minute just walking back and forth smiling and waving cheesily, like as if Toymaster were showcasing this year’s newest fad - a wind-up clockwork comedian. 33 years old and not a hint of baldness. The bastard.

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“‘Im playing again in February“, shouts the sweating Des Bishop at the climax of a longer-than-usual set, “Tell everyone about the show!”

Well alright Des, I’ll do my bit …

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“Lovely Dust”

The word from a barman I talked to in Rathmines and guy who waters the plants where I work, is that The Panel isn’t as good anymore. The format is getting stale. You’d be better off spending your Monday nights in Copperface Jack’s trying to meet nurses, so he says. Well let’s see…

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Series 4 Episode 1 (Guest appearance by Grainne Seoige)

[NOTE: Artistic license used. Drawing may not be representative of the actual content of the program]

Sweet Jesus, calling Killinaskully over-acted would be like calling the Pacific ocean damp. It’s all gurning, winking, and capering around in fields. And the stage-Irish accents are worse than Michael Flatley speaking to Radio Na Gaeltacht on Paddy’s weekend.

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A Tutorial.

I’m not claiming any expertise here - there are squillions of proper artists who can do this better than me. I’m just an amateur spoofing his way in art (and life!). But if you’re a novice who fancies trying to draw a portrait and you follow this guide, you might surprise yourself.

HERE

This drawing and the title above are a shameless attempt to get a few more casual clicks from the surfers over at irishblogs.ie

At the moment this site is getting around 230 unique visitors per month, which is alright. But I notice no-one is leaving any comments. Why’s that ? OH IS IT BECAUSE EVERYBODY HATES ME ? IS THAT IT ? Fine then. I’m going out to eat worms ….

Did this for my mate Anna as a surprise present for her sister, who’d just had a baby (obviously). I think the baby is only a few days old here. Aw. Of course later, as a teenager, this picture will just be a hideous embarrassment to him, when his mother brings it out to show his girlfriends …

A mate of mine who’s going to take me for a golf lesson. Which inspired me to draw this sketch of what I would imagine he looks like on the golf course. I assume it’s fairly accurate …

[Dave Steenson]

Done as a work leaving-present. I’d already framed it before I thought to scan it.

So this is a photo …

[Eleanor McHugh]

I don’t know who this girl is. Let’s call her “Emily-Jane Wigglesworth”. A friend of a friend got in touch on Wednesday to ask could I do a cartoon for her cousin’s Hen night - by Friday lunchtime (Pressure !). She mailed me a few photos and a few bits of info (Accountant, used to play the accordion), so I gave it a go. It was a bit of a rush-job.

So anyway, congratulations on your wedding and I hope you got a laugh out of the drawing (whoever you are !) …

drawing caricature
[Emily-Jane Wigglesworth Cartoon]