Quarehawk

The internal working of Google is shrouded in mystery, and that’s a good thing. Because if they made their algorithm public, then snotbags would manipulate the system, and every search you put in would return 15 pages of sites trying to sell you manhood-extending pills.

Unfortunately though, this information-blackout means I am unable to explain why Google decided to send the following searchers here …

“dylan moran toaster”
- HAR! That sounds like a great idea! Like the George Foreman Grill.

“how to draw neked ladys”
- Step 1) Lern to spel betur.

“des bishop gay?”
- Not this again. NO I DON’T THINK DES BISHOP IS GAY. In his act he talks about dating girls!

“fiscal policy cartoon”
- How the hell would I convey THAT in a cartoon?

“cameron diaz caricature sketch”
- Good idea. I’ll get right on it

“grainne seoige’s bum”
- Who keeps typing this in to Google? It turns up at least once a month.

“upwardly mobile on rte”
- Welcome to 1997 and the worse sitcom ever broadcast.

“miserable swine”
- It’s true. I am.

“sean hughes is lonely”
- Ah the poor divil.

“sean hughes bad actor”
- Jesus, get off his back. The man’s doing his best.

“tickling lee evans”
Alright, but this cartoon better not turn up on some bizarre fetish site.