Quarehawk

“Let’s F**k while we’re young !”

As you might expect from Russell Brand, the house speakers were booming out Morrissey as we punters trundled in. And the first thing I notice is that the Olympia stage has been “done up” since I last saw it (at the REM gig). Fancified. Looks good too.

Russell’s BBC radio show cohort Mr G is warming up the crowd. I missed most of his act because I was getting drinks in, but it was noticeable that the boozy audience were talking among themselves throughout his set. Slightly ugly. Made me feel a bit sorry for him. But actually not that sorry, because you and me have ordinary jobs and he travels around the world with Russell Brand, larking about and meeting interesting showbiz types and attending glitzy parties. That’s what I assume anyway.

At 11.40 I text my mate “I have a pint and I’m in my seat waiting. Where is the lanky bollox?”. “Probably in the loo shagging 2 birds” comes the reply, but it turned out Brand was on his way back from the Late Late Show studio. Sorry I missed that. The notion of Russell Brand on Pat Kenny boggles my mind. Russell Brand on The Late Late I mean - not on Pat Kenny literally.

Five minutes later out he swaggers, bright eyed and bushy haired, twirling in a pair of cowboy boots. “Good eeeevening” he lilts in that Dickensian affectation so many people have grown to loathe. And I mean it when I say many people loath him . A quick google search for “Russell Brand” got me this …

- “Would somebody please kill this man ?”
- “Why can’t he be the victim of a random stabbing? WHY ?!”

Jesus. He’s only a comedian folks, not a murderer. And humour is subjective you know? Surely you can find more deserving targets for that kind of venom.

I remember Paul Merton saying about his mate Julian Clary something along the lines of “He gets away with a lot simply because he is a good looking person”. Could you say the same about Russell Brand ? Is he just telegenic and trading mainly on that ?

I don’t think so. The guy is witty, literate, has an original persona and an original look. His druggy past and reportedly extravagant sex-life give him a dangerous air that appeals to the ladies and makes him an object of envy for the males.

Usually when someone becomes a “sex symbol” a legion of the feeble-minded begin to half-heartedly copy him, and you get a million watered-down high street versions standing around in pubs. Remember all the David Beckam mohawks ?

But it’s hard to picture anyone attempting to ape Russell Brand, who vocally sounds like a mixture of Albert Steptoe, Dot Cotton and Frank Spencer. And looks like someone got that machine from The Fly and shoved Kenny Everett and Adam Ant into it. Then forced the resultant creation to read the entire works of Stephen Fry, before dressing him out of a specialist S&M catalogue, handing him a cane and sending him flouncing over to Endemol Productions ltd.

The boozy audience shout some abusive stuff about Pat Kenny. “But he’s just a kindly old man” laughs Brand (I repectfully disagree!).

He asks for the lights to be brought up and moseys down off the stage to mill about in the audience for a bit. It’s a lark, and nerve-wracking if you’re seated down in the stalls. He eventually settles on Keith the security guard, “Oooh I bet you’re dead good at fighting”, and makes him lift him up and give him a cuddle. HAR !

This is something you have to give Brand credit for - he is the antithesis of macho. It’s hard to think of another so-called ladies man who’s prepared to mince and flounce and have fun like he is. That takes some solid self-assurance. And he’s happy to talk about love and about wanting a cuddle, which isn’t something you or me are likely to encounter from our alpha male mates when we’re out watching the rugby. Comfortable with his own sexuality is old Russell Brand.

So maybe some of the vitriol towards him is a “Players vs Haters” thing? I dunno.

If you poke around on youtube you’ll find an unrecognisable Russell performing stand-up from a few years back. Jeans and t-shirt and runners. No beard. No wild hair. No victorian pose. But more manic. And full of impressions and acting out. Fans of his BBC Radio 2 show will have twigged by now that he’s a gifted mimic, although this doesn’t feature much in his current stand-up.

It’s obvious when you look into it, that Brand created this ridiculous black-clothed capering weirdo as a character. Which makes me think hating him for it is like hating Brendan Grace for “Bottler”. Oh hang on, I do fucking hate Brendan Grace for Bottler. Ok that was a poor analogy, since Brendan Grace for all his faults, doesn’t pretend to be Bottler all the time. But I wouldn’t imagine Russell Brand pretends to be Russell Brand all the time either. It’d be exhausting.

Brand does his standard kick-off bit where he brings out a local newspaper and does a funny analysis of the articles. Tonight in Dublin it’s The Evening Herald. He comments on some story about a hold-up on Parnell st, but it starts to become clear here that he’s having a hard time holding the audience in check. This is the curse of late-night comedy clubs. Shouting and jeering drown him out a few times. Eventually he wisely abandons the newspaper bit and pushes ahead with his other material.

Shortly into which … his microphone failed. Then the backup mic went dead. Yikes. Without batting an eyelid, Brand takes a breath and begins speaking in a raised voice, projecting as it’s called. “I can continue like this” he says, gesticulating, “because I have been to drama school”. This actually works, the Olympia Theater after all dates from a time long before sound systems (the fuckers don’t seem to have hoovered since then but that’s beside the point), and it’s a snug venue and the acoustics are good enough. Feels weird though, listening to him now. Onward he goes with his flights of fancy, winding his wrist around to punctuate his more verbose sentences. Although obviously well-read, he speaks in an Eastenders voice, full of “Eee were alrigh ‘ee were” and “It weren’t” and “naffink”.

A few minutes later he pauses, “I think it’s funny how no-one has even come up to try to sort out the microhones yet”. Ha ! Welcome to Ireland Russell. We don’t stress ourselves over this kind of shit. The technican is probably just finishing one more pint of Guinness; sure don’t be worrying about it bud, aren’t ye grand as you are ?

The mic gets fixed in due course, shortly after which he pretends to be annoyed about the technical problems and throws a chair at the back of the stage. This knocks a gaping hole in the spanking new Olympia set. Oh shit. I guess his management had to fork over a few bob to get that fixed.

But the truth must be faced : tonight in the Olympia will not go down as Russell Brand’s greatest gig. The newspaper bit didn’t work out. Then the mic failed. Then he tried to make some crank calls, which also failed.

And worse - In the end he resorted to re-hashing some jokes which I’d heard at his July gig in The National Stadium. The Liam Gallagher stories, the Macauley Culkin story. It’s not that these aren’t funny anecdotes, but come on. One girl in the posh private box section called him on this - “Give us something new Russell !!” , but he didn’t acknowledge her point and just deflected it with “Would you like an STD?”. Well okay “HAR !” to that I suppose.

I’ve ranted about this for years - comedians, and performers generally, don’t bring their “A-Game” to Ireland. Watch an act in Britain and you’re more likely to see lavish sets, a name in lights, and a well rehearsed, tight performance. This is the second time I’ve seen Russell Brand this year and both efforts were shoddy and poorly prepared, like so many visiting acts. I’ve come to expect it at this stage. And we’re paying more per gig than punters in England. This burns my ass a bit but who can I complain to?

That said, the final analysis is this : I am a massive fucking fan of Russell Brand. He doesn’t have much quotable jokes, but it’s him, his personality, the whole package that you enjoy. You have to actually listen to the man. He has nothing malicious to say about anyone. He’s all “life is an adventure and let’s try to do stuff that’s fun and try to find something to love about each other”, which I suppose is the influence of the Hare Krisna’s whom he’s often credited with saving him.

Even the lurid tabloid tales about him which couldn’t all possibly be true he takes in good fun, often incorporating these into his performances. And for all that lothario talk he doesn’t name or comment on his conquests personally, preferring to be ‘a gentleman’ about it.

In a Guardian article a while back Brand said “I want to do something that has value, worth, poetry and momentum”. What’s most evident when you see him live is his overwhelming desire to please you. He really really wants to be liked. Like the Smiths song he’s a charming man, imaginative and playful. And clearly ambitious, which has led him to the point of overexposure at this stage; Tv shows, radio show, a book out and a couple of film appearances coming up. He should probably back off for a while.

For your €40, Russell Brand is a terrific break from the banal, a visually arresting, interesting, erudite and manic performer, taking you on a mad verbal journey. Just go to see him in England if you can, because he (or maybe his production team) doesn’t quite make the effort over here.