Quarehawk

“Let’s F**k while we’re young !”

As you might expect from Russell Brand, the house speakers were booming out Morrissey as we punters trundled in. And the first thing I notice is that the Olympia stage has been “done up” since I last saw it (at the REM gig). Fancified. Looks good too.

Russell’s BBC radio show cohort Mr G is warming up the crowd. I missed most of his act because I was getting drinks in, but it was noticeable that the boozy audience were talking among themselves throughout his set. Slightly ugly. Made me feel a bit sorry for him. But actually not that sorry, because you and me have ordinary jobs and he travels around the world with Russell Brand, larking about and meeting interesting showbiz types and attending glitzy parties. That’s what I assume anyway.

At 11.40 I text my mate “I have a pint and I’m in my seat waiting. Where is the lanky bollox?”. “Probably in the loo shagging 2 birds” comes the reply, but it turned out Brand was on his way back from the Late Late Show studio. Sorry I missed that. The notion of Russell Brand on Pat Kenny boggles my mind. Russell Brand on The Late Late I mean - not on Pat Kenny literally.

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It appears someone has set up a Google Alert for the term “Dermot Whelan Comedy”, which sends some kind of Googlebot over poking around this site nearly every day, based on a passing reference I made to Dermot Whelan in an old post about The Panel.

Feeling bad for this lone fanatical surfer, I decided to feed the bot. So I drew this bizarre portrait of the man himself. It was a freewheeling, random kind of project. My washing machine was on in the background so I sketched that in, then an ad came on the tv where there were carrots, so (why not?) I incorporated the carrot motif as well. Then as an afterthought, I used iPhoto to make a sort of commemorative plate effect. So here you go my friend, this one’s for you …

[I suppose eventually this will pop up in Google Image Search, perplexing and confounding genuine Dermot Whelan fans]

UPDATE: Dermot Whelan found this post and responded in the comments below … 

Ten minutes after the official start-time the lights dip. “Would you welcome to the stage … Dara O’Briain”, says an unseen voice behind the curtain, which you quickly realize is that of Dara O’Briain himself. And out he comes. Ah yes, I forgot this was Vicar Street, where the comedians have to develop multiple personality disorders and introduce themselves speaking in the third person.

It’s only Monday night and the place is pretty much full. Maybe everyone went home and changed but they don’t look much like the office crowd I was expecting. And Dara O’Briain doesn’t look much like a stand-up. In a smart suit minus the tie, and eschewing the traditional microphone stand for a pinned-on radio mic which leaves him free to gesticulate with both hands, he reminds you a bit of a motivational speaker at a corporate gathering.

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Anyone who tried to order balcony seat tickets for this gig online got the message “No seats available for your selection”, giving the wrong impression that the event had sold out. Actually what happened was the opposite - the balcony wasn’t in use because they knew they couldn’t fill it. This is hardly surprising though - Sean Hughes hasn’t really done anything to keep himself in the Irish spotlight since leaving “Never Mind The Buzzcocks”.

This show wasn’t publicized much. You get the suspicion he was just over visiting his parents for the Bank Holiday weekend and decided to chance his arm with a gig while he was here.

If so, I’m glad he did. Because he’s still good.
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“We are ugly, us Irish men. I’m no oil painting but I know plenty of guys who aren’t even a sketch”

I went to this gig drunk, arriving just as the warm up guy came on. and he was pretty good, John Lynn. He’s an ex teacher who won the Bulmers Best Newcomer award. With a powerful commanding voice, resonating around the venue, he has tales of his old job and commentary on the much-mined field of “Male and female realtionships”. At this stage I’m impressed when I meet a comedian who doesn’t resort to this old content, but anyhoodle John Lynn does it well. His impressions of his girlfriend drunk are a riot. Seemingly he’s a seasoned warm-up man, kicking it off for Tommy Tiernan and Des Bishop as well. He does a bit of interacting with the audience - mainly picking on a singing teacher, whom he mocks for her posh job versus some of the rougher schools he’s worked in. Funny dude - I’d pay to see him as the headline.

So, on comes Colin Murphy. He’s got on a suit jacket and jeans, and a red shirt that coordinates perfectly with the red curtain background of the stage. Was that just a coincidence ? Probably.

“So how many people drove here tonight ? [PAUSE] …… with your L-PLATES HAHAHAHAHAHA !”
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